#每周手账28: Inner Child Healing 内心小孩（下）

Dear Rose,

"The wound is not my fault. But the healing is my responsibility."

The Impact of Childhood Neglect

Growing up believing you're unlovable

Low self-worth ✔

Feeling like you have to give everything of yourself just so others won't leave you

Feeling constantly alone/ unsafe in the world

Developing an extreme level of self-sufficiency ✔ 

Feeling undeserving of love

Learning to be "the helper" for others but fighting all your own battles alone ✔

Feeling insecure in your attachments ✔

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RE-PARENTING

INNER CHILD HEALING

• becoming aware of the ways in which we harm, abandon, and betray ourselves
• noticing our behavior and the impact on others.
• learning to regulate and self-soothe when we are triggered or reactive.
• recognizing and responding to our needs.
• working within our tolerance and gradually building it.
• reaching out for support and co-regulating.
• acknowledging our limits and implementing boundaries.
• giving ourselves time to process.
• holding ourselves accountable.

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"Most of our adult issues are rooted in our childhood. When you heal your inner child, you heal the adult in you."

JOURNAL PROMPTS

• What games did I love to play as a child?

I love playing puzzle and board games with my family. My dad used to draw with me and mum read books with me and helped me with my homework. My mum also sang karaoke with me. My dad played video games or watched movies with us before bedtime. And I remember we used to fly kites together at Bukit Jalil during the weekend. I love to play Barbie dolls and pretend play with my cousin. I still remember my parents brought me to funfair during my birthday, I love carousel and Ferris wheel. I used to sing and play music for my family when I was a child.

• My favorite places to visit were …

Outdoors like waterfall, beach, island, forest, river, flower garden, aquarium, seafood restaurants, cinema, bookstore, stationary shops, sunset, etc.

• I felt most joyful when I was …

Playing music and singing. I love it when my family came to watch my musical performances. And I love it when my family sing together with me. I love to walk with my family. I feel happy and safe when they spend time together with me or do something for me.

• What do I feel I did not receive enough of?

I do not know what is missing. Maybe honesty? I think it would be better if someone can listen to me attentively and try to understand me better, especially when I was worried, upset, stressed, scared, and feeling alone. I need someone emotionally available for me.

• How can I incorporate and invite more of these things into my life now?

I will spend more quality time with my family and close friends. I can write to my inner child and try to understand why I have certain behaviors, and take good care of my inner child. I can be emotionally available for myself and seek help from people who I trust. I will continue to educate myself and challenge negative thoughts in me and become a happier person.

"You will stop attracting emotionally unavailable men when you grieve your emotionally unavailable parent(s) and finally become emotionally available to yourself."

- Jamie Rea

You're loved. Goodnight.