2022 RECAP - we're engaged!

 

Dear Rose,

Dear my future self, 

we're engaged!

2022 is a happy and fruitful year. I had not been writing much in year 2022 and I guess it was because many changes were constantly happening and I did not know my places.  

Post Covid-19

Covid 19 changed people and things. We become more appreciative of what we have and the health of people we care. We still survive.

I cherish time with my family. Despite it had been tough living under the same roof with my parents for the longest time, it had always been my childhood wish that I would get to see both my working parents more often. My grandma got Covid and I thought we would lose her but thank God she survived. 

I pray to God everyday that my family is healthy. 

Getting Opportunities

I always think that I am a super lucky girl because I get what I wish for. I played for Julian Chan Jazz Orchestra, Kuala Lumpur Big Band, and a funk band with my high school band teacher. 

In year 2022 I received an offer letter to work as a full time trombonist for Kuala Lumpur Big Band. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to reject the offer. But I know this has always been my wildest dream - to work as a full time big band musician/arranger. 

I was invited to play for a gig in Kuching, Sarawak. Great hospitalities from the company, great stay and fun time with crazy friends. That was probably the last time I played music with Zul, my teammate for years, before he moved to Singapore for work. I got to meet Kenneth there and had some Tuak after he left Major Music for good. I bought two beautiful handmade Ratan bags. I miss the Gula Apong ice cream in Sarawak.

We performed one memorable KLCO concert before conductor Juan and some members left. People move and things are constantly changing. Best wishes for everyone, good life. 

Passed my Dissertation Defence

I am not always confident nor convinced for what I do but I give my best. My boyfriend and I went to Port Dickson for a short getaway after our concerts. It was a very nice environment for me to work on my dissertation defence preparation, which reminds me of the time I worked on my degree final year project with my music composition friends near the beach in Terengganu - beautiful memories. 

I will surely miss Malaysia. People, warm sunset and beaches. 

Sheng, Wee Yang, and Tze Ling graduated from UM as well. #ClapHappy

Met Malaysian Friends from Finland

LDR is not easy but we survived. People have been asking me how we adapt to LDR, I don't know, I think I just got used to the separation anxiety in these 6 years - adjust, adapt, overcome. 

After hearing stories about one another through video calls for so long, this is the first time the Malaysians from Finland and I said hello face to face. It feels like family. And I actually wanted to say thank you all for taking care of my precious one all this while. 

Travelled to Europe

This trip meant a lot to us. I finally met Bao Bao - our special friend, always be. Distance has always been a major issue in our relationship and life planning, we argued a lot. I chose to give up at some point because I did not want the hardships. Imagine seeing couples sharing umbrella in rainy days, and things young couples do in their early twenties. I was 22 when we started our LDR. I was jealous, lonely, needy, negative, lost, and confused. Lastly, I returned to him and tried again because giving up in this relationship hurt more than ever. 

People say you need to have faith in something you love. I guess this is how we survive.

Dear fiancé, 

Thank you for everything you do for our relationship, you have always been the caring and honest one. And I am the opposite. I like to deny feelings and everything that makes me insecure.

You have been consistent in our relationship and always be there for me when I need you. 

You are the greatest gift from God that makes me want to become better everyday. You forgive and accept me for the person I am. I feel safe in your arms.

There are moments I wonder how long I can stay in love with you, I just can't help but start loving you more each day. I love you more today and tomorrow. Can't wait to start a new life with you. - fiancée

P.S. this was his first time sending me off to the airport which usually is the opposite, it was heartbreaking for him; I am feeling the aches and pains on long-haul flights