Pop Goes The Weasel

" It means whatever you were doing, wherever your mind had wandered to, reality was never far away with the weasel to pop you alert again. "

Dear Rose,

  Usually klpac orchestra rehearsal is on Wednesday evening, but today we had first Sunday rehearsal with the violin soloist. I arrived at klpac after lunch with family. I was feeling upset for many reasons but I do not know what they are. A man's sudden question stopped me while I was walking upstairs to studio 5 in slow pace. I looked up to him and my intuition told me that I knew this man, I read about him before. " Why are you sad? " " You should be happy, you have talent! " " What's your name? " I smiled at him.

" That's right! Keep the smile! " I cannot remember clearly what he said to me but I know he is very special. " I am Joe. " he mentioned.

" Thank you, thank you, Joe! " You would not know how important it is, to realize someone who is consistently having a fight in her inside, with herself. How grateful I am to have someone's attention while I am not feeling loved. Thank you, Joe Hasham, klpac is such beautiful fairyland to me.

  This moment I know orchestra is not just solemn, cold and scary place where people tend to compete and judge, that cannot be the reason of making music because I can hardly play a single note with that kind of negative perception.

  What does orchestra mean to me? I guess other than making it a profession, career, fame, income etc. focusing on being great musician, overcome failures to become nearly perfection, I would agree it means a special ' family' , a home. I know I am not alone against the odds, God always put me with angels.

  Jason is leaving to Australia. I still do not know what's waiting ahead for us, in future I am sure I do not want things to stay the same. I want things to get better, for myself and everyone. What does have faith mean to you? I just wish I can be at places I want to be, where magic continues.

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Saturday Story @ DFP

  Today during MPYO WIT program, we had resident conductor audition. Supposed to have three conductors who signed up but only two appeared, one fell sick. We played Mozart's Magic Flute. Jason came to join the section, glad to have him again for the last time before he gone to Australia. Sorry I am still far from good, hope in future I can prove myself the best section mate!

  Met Brett today although he had not reply my message yet. He told me that Zack and Marques will be back in a week time. And Allen, lecturer from YST, is currently the sub trombonist in the MPO. I am half excited half upset, because he is Ter's teacher but a scary judge in my past audition experience.

  But It does not matter, as long I am doing better by each day, nothing will harm by the time we meet in the audition hall again. Hopefully, I must stop feeling scared to jump off if I wish to learn fly. How are you, my Thai friends in my dream conservatory?

  Spent great time with orchestra friends, sharing card games and good food. Well, I took the wrong train home, nevermind. We all learn well from mistakes. Thank you my parents for always being my backup, unconditionally sacrifice for me ever since my existence.