One Month Later, Lessons Brett #11 Marques #7

Dear Rose,

  One month ago was the YST Audition while today is my first lesson after the break. Every person needs to be forgiven, but can I stop hurting myself first? Because everybody has treated me so kindly, I shouldn't be the one who is losing hope. Still young to give up.

  Brett told me to go on stage for starting our lesson at 4pm. Guess what? Marques came along. Zack and Marques were back in Malaysia after touring in the U.S. for weeks. I was so happy to meet all three of them again, my favorite people. Brett, Marques and I played the Rochut Etudes together. How lucky I am, almost cried wishing this moment lasted forever. The happiest thing in my life is to have found great teachers.

  Brett talked to me about the audition and choices. Most of the time I feel like I am lonely but I am not alone in reality, life has sent angels like Joe, Brett, Robert Burrell, Zack, Marques, Miane Sng, Mustaqim, Encik Zamrus, Prof Zaharul, Dr Karen, great friends and moments I'll remember forever. It hurts to have me constantly hurting myself, feeling frustrated and depressed inside for a long time, until I do not know how to express, standing at the edge of wanting to give up.

For the secrets I hide in me, making eye contact feels so heavy, I am afraid that by looking so close by, I can no longer hide the sadness in me. I locked myself away.

  Dear Rose and my loving friends, are you struggling too? No matter what, I wish that we'll grow stronger than our sadness and keep seeing the muse in lives with open eyes.

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